Case study: Jenessa

From Clueless to “How did you do that??”


Despite having a successful career and a master’s degree, relationships were not easy for Jenessa. She was mystified by them and couldn’t seem to find the same sort of ease with dating that her friends had.

“I always felt like I was sick that day in school when we covered relationships because everyone around me seemed to know exactly what to do while I had no idea what was going on.”

She wasn’t putting the effort into it that she knew she should be, and her occasional dates were lackluster and unfulfilling.  But Jenessa’s biggest barrier was the belief that she wasn’t worthy of having conversations with other people.

“Even during small conversation with people, in my head I created a script that I don’t feel like I’m worthy of a conversation with you or even acknowledgement from you.”

We tackled this belief together, in conjunction with things like body language, tone, and how to read the other person. And ­Jenessa saw amazing results just from this one shift. Where she had difficulty engaging people before, she became comfortable and natural engaging people everywhere she went.

“Just the other week my roommate and I were out for lunch. And this older man approached us and he and I chatted and had a great time. My roommate was on her phone the whole time and didn’t contribute much to the conversation but he and I enjoyed ourselves and it was just nice.”

“My roommate is actually a model. She does fitness and sportswear modeling so she’s very classically beautiful and gets approached a lot. And after he left she looked at me and asked ‘How did you do that? How are you so relaxed? I can’t talk to people like that.’”

That moment was when Jenessa realized how much she had changed and how big of a shift she had made. She knew what she was doing!

Suddenly, instead of having skipped the “dating class” in school, she was top of the class. With her newfound confidence Jenessa also realized she was outgrowing the city she was in, and is now preparing to move to build the life she wants.

Want to read even more about Jenessa’s personal transformation story? Click here to download the full PDF version with even more details on how she did it!